Monday, September 9, 2013

Behold! An updated blog!

So I went on vacation. There were pictures taken and shenanigans occurred. So many shenanigans. But I don't feel like talking about it. Let's just sit back and mindlessly flip through the evidence...

Summer in Tokyo...

Orlando Bloom looking constipated.


No. Just No.

A pachinko trying to blend in...

Hey, look! Baseball! This should be somewhat normal....

Wait for it...

Lol. Nope. Not normal. Why tiny umbrellas? Because Japan. Shame on you for asking questions.

This is an advertisement for mints. A very suggestive advertisement for mints.
  And then I went on vacation... to Malaysia!

We brought our own toilet paper... enough for two weeks.
Approximately 3000 "Camel Toe" jokes were created because of this stupid cigarette pack.

A subway token... made of less substance than lego.

Take a moped! What could possible go wrong? (Disclaimer: Things went wrong.)

Hey look! Famous things!

A totally-not-weird pose.

Why is this so creepy?

Realizing that there isn't much going on in K.L.

Oh, hey Nicole... selling watches, are we?

Note the face.

And the Korean Navy.

Being special.

Extra special.

Finding a decent meal during Ramadan was interesting...

But we managed to find the bar district... and the only bar with a special on tequila....

 The water was totally undrinkable... but the graffiti was stunning...
Mounting excitement? Over a latte? Sounds a little desperate...


You know that weird guy who sells flags on a bike in your country? Well rest assured, there's one in Malaysia too.

"100 PLUS" was sold as a substitute for Gatorade. Buying this was probably one of the biggest mistakes I've ever made in my life. No exaggeration.

Beautiful Buddhist temple

That's all smog, baby!

Old things.

A turtle farm. That's right- A turtle farm.

Lao Tse

Probably the creepiest picture I've ever seen in my life.

More temples

So. Much. Food.

Hey look! A big thing! Let's stand in front of it.

Standing in front of the big thing.

Batu Caves

Me, creeping on a monk.

There's something slightly weird about a monk taking a picture with an iPhone.

NECKS. Because I'm not a photographer.

The monk I was creeping refused to take a picture with me... but he did take a picture OF us. That's right- this picture was taken by an actual Malaysian monk. It's the best I could do.

270 steps up and down, carved into the mountain.

Hey, monkey!

Hey, more monkeys!

Monkey, please put some pants on.

"Best"? Really???

Giant monkey-man statue means business.

After just 3 days in Malaysia, I was craving pork... so we went to a Chinese restaurant. But my food looks a little odd...

 After spending 3 days in Malaysia, I was ready for some serious change of scenery... It was Ramadan and things were very... conservative... in Malaysia. Burkas and Hijabs were the norm. Thailand was a welcome change.

 So we shuffled off towards the international airport. But I would just like to point out that AT NO POINT was I searched or scanned. They took away large bottles of liquids and gels as they always do, but leaving Malaysia and entering the Bangkok airport was probably the least stressful airport experience of my life. Immigration took less than 2 minutes. No one asked me any stupid questions about my "intentions" in Thailand. It seemed as if everyone was on board with the situation. Also, I'm pretty sure no one spoke English. That probably helped. It was a breath of fresh air. 
Thailand! Where the dental hygiene is as lax as our immigration services!

He insisted on wearing that. So I insisted on taking a picture.
It's like 'D-bag' and 'Dude-Bros' had a baby!

Funny story: Our train to Surathani was 3 hours late. My friend, being Japanese at heart, was seriously unimpressed with the tardiness. Trains should run on time. He medicated with beer.


And more island... in fact, most of the pictures I took looked a lot like this. Obnoxiously glorified postcard-perfect pictures of beaches. You're just going to have to suffer through this part...




That dude is washing his cow. Yep. Washing his cow.
A derpy picture of me.


Sunburn. On a beach. And next-level Jenga- using only chopsticks... and a little vodka.

It's so beautiful I could throw up.
This place is called the Porn Restaurant. Porn. Restaurant. My only response to this choice of title is- "please, never google your restaurant's name on the internet."

"French Salad" and "American Flavour"

Now I'm just embarrassed. It was a freaking great vacation.

Ok, we get it- it's beautiful.

Why am I not here right now?
A highly-specific chip flavour
So.... ASIAN.

Getting some clothes made. Because you're in Thailand and things are hella cheap.

He was really unimpressed with the accommodations on that train ride back to Bangkok.

Funnier story: So your first train was 3 hours late? Hows about 6 hours late on the way home.... What, you don't want to hang out at a train station in the middle of nowhere for 6 hours? What's wrong with you??

Ok, these chip flavours are getting really specific


Portuguese Chicken at the airport.

Sup, King!

 All in all, it was an amazing trip. The 12 hour schlep back home was not nearly as enjoyable, but we made do. I spent 9 full days lying on a beach in the middle of nowhere doing absolutely nothing- it was amazing. And I can cross Malaysia off my list- I think I've had enough of that country. On the other hand, Thailand was and always will be my kind of paradise. I love that country. Good times!

Good night!

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