Sunday, May 8, 2011

We're back in Kansas, Dorthy.

So, the honeymoon’s over…
That isn’t to say that I don’t enjoy the marriage (to my job), but coming back from an amazing vacation with the knowledge that you will not have one for several more months kinda takes the spark out of the relationship. Back to lesson plans and hourly baths in hand sanitizer, but let’s focus on the good memories.
So I decided that I desperately missed Tokyo and all its glory, so I spent the majority of my week off there, crashing on a friend’s floor. And it was the best floor ever, thank you :) 

The first part of my vacation is documented in my previous post, but what I have left out is the second (and far more entertaining) part of my visit. I really love Tokyo, with all its nooks and crazy crannies, with every possible thing you could ever imagine a mega-asian-mega-city containing. 

So last Wednesday, I woke up with a driving urge to see monkeys. A ton of monkeys. And bears. And lions. And tigers. Oh my. So some friends and I went down to the Ueno Zoo, which is apparently one of the oldest and hugest zoos in the world. And oh man, I saw so many monkeys. And every freaking animal on the planet. Including a couple million humans, who also apparently woke up the same day with the same violent need to see primates. The zoo was PACKED. To be fair, it was ‘free trip to the zoo’ day in Tokyo on a national holiday, which probably had something to do with it, but STILL. So many humans. The only animal I didn’t see at the zoo was the m*ther freaking panda. Apparently, there is only one panda exhibit in the whole world, because there was a 5 HOUR LINE TO SEE THE FREAKING PANDA. So I didn’t see the panda. Instead, I took thousands of pictures of other creatures, and none of them are any good, but I’ll show them to you anyways… 

 There were also too many different species of birds to count;

And then of course, there were all the other animals I was like "Oh man, I have to take a picture of this guy..."

That one on the left is a tiger's ass, because he was moving too fast for my camera. I bet his only remaining pleasure in life is taunting the stupid people like me who try to take pictures of him standing still. That, and the giant pieces of red meat he probably eats on a daily basis. 

There are also a great deal of pictures of my butt and the inside of my pocket, because Captain Awesome doesn't know how to put her camera on standby. 

After the zoo, we went to this Super Nerd District I can't remember the name of, but is nothing but streets filled with stores that sell computers. There were also a couple stores that sold smaller parts of computers, and accessories for computers. Oh yes, and these gems;

Amazing. I really do love this country. Here's the rest of my day;
 This is a mousepad you can win from one of those coin-operated claw games. It's a mousepad. The um... *cough* elevated area is for your wrist so you don't get carpel tunnel from playing computer games your entire life. Because wrist pain will be the least of your problems...

 These are my new boyfriends, although they don't know it yet. I've chosen them because of how casually they wear their amazing outfits. Nothing says confidence like ordering lunch in a LIFE SIZE PIKACHU COSTUME. With your friend, also dressed like a cartoon character. *Gasp* What if they're boyfriends? Maybe that's their "thing"...

 One more unbelievably creepy statue to add to my photography portfolio of creepy life size statues. Have you noticed that all of these looming life-sized pieces of plastic are all standing in corners, just out of plain sight? That doesn't seem very fung-shuy to me.

So after the Nerd Town visit, I went to this amazing Jazz concert at this super swanky restaurant in Rippongi (a very big piece of Tokyo). I can't remember the name of the singer, but she was amazing! The restaurant overlooked the skyline of Tokyo and I desperately wanted to take a picture, but that would have required getting up on stage and ruining the show. So I didn't do that. Afterward, we went to a couple clubs and danced the night away. It was a great day.

And we're back in my little town again. Although there was a couple things that caught my eye here to;

There is a beautiful little shrine near the train station. And near that shrine is a pub with the greatest menu ever. Why, do you ask, is it the greatest menu ever? Because of the typos! See how many you can count... I got up to 5 on just one page;

This place is an "English pub." Note how English it is.

Oh yeah, and I went to the mall and saw a Japanese animated kids movie, 20% of which I completely understood! So that goes to show you that all that drunken practice I'm doing talking to locals in bars is paying off. Who needs formal lessons? Not this chick! (kidding).

There were also FREAKING LLAMAS at the mall. Just hanging out. Like it's totally normal to have llamas at the mall. Totally normal.

The black one looks pissed. Probably because I'm pointing at it so much saying "Holy crap!!! Why are there llamas at the mall???"

So that's that. Oh yeah, and I also took some weird photobooth pictures with some friends of mine. The photobooths in Japan are sentient beings that automatically locate your visual flaws and photoshops them without you even asking. And they have settings so that you can make your eyes bigger and your skin smoother. They also read your temperature and change the air in the room accordingly. I may have made that last part up, but still. Fantastically creepy. We took tons of them;

Oh yeah, I also met this chick;

But I did leave out the part where my wallet got stolen by a bunch of strippers... but that's a bedtime story for another night. :)

Sweet Dreams!

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