The Land of the Playmobile Handshake

I'm going to tell you all a secret...


It's a little racist, but a truth nonetheless;

Japanese people really don't understand, on a fundamental level, THE HANDSHAKE.

You see, before the gaijin invaded, Japanese people didn't shake hands. Like, EVER. In fact, the concept of physically touching anyone, for the purpose of greetings, or introducing yourself, or doing business, or even just agreeing on how awesome something is, was always accompanied by the BOW. And ohmygoodness, do they know how to bow... but I digress.

Now- Japan is a pretty awesome place and, as a country, they make a significant effort to be "international-y." They've tried to adopt the universal concept of the handshake. And it seems like they just don't quite get it. I feel like 99% of the time I'm gifted this weak-but-somehow-still-awkwardly-stiff version of what I'm used to back home. It's almost as if some White Dude called Japan with verbal instructions on how to shake a hand, and something got lost in translation. I think that maybe it goes against some ingrained genetic motif.

But that's enough of that.

So I went back to Canada over Golden Week this year... and things just basically "hit the fan." I'm not going to bore you with the details- if you know me well enough, then you already know what happened. For those of you who don't me well enough, this is the PG-13 version;

Polar bears;

 Toronto;

 Pie made at 2 a.m.;

 Friends WITH DINOSAURS!;

 Unbelievably amazingly greasy food;

Oh yeah, and my awesome family and childhood neighbourhood;

But unlike my Christmas vacation, I couldn't wait to get back to Japan. On a personal level, situations have changed. ALSO, these days, there are SO MANY THINGS going on. Work, school, friends, and generally living in Tokyo occupies all of my time. Also, for the first time since I've arrived, Japan has really started to feel like home.

Since I've been back, I've taken a great deal of pictures of ridiculous things. Living in Tokyo basically means that I'm never bored. I have no time to be sitting on my thumbs. Cue the shameless photo dump...

 Ebisu and the Giant Duck Bouncy Castle

 Firefighters showing some chicks how to 'work the hose...'

 Mother f*cking oysters...

 Shib BOO YA (station)

Harajuku on a Sunday afternoon... no idea what these guys were waiting for, but they stood there for over 2 hours.

 Yoyogi Park and les fontaines de couleurs...

 The Thai food festival and some chick who's REALLY HAPPY ABOUT IT.

 Dr. Seuss hat.

 Shibuya at night...

 Possibly the best pair of platform shoes worn since the 1970's...

 Staff parties...

Obviously Nichome...

 Ginza and their super-expensive-super-pretty things...

 Yokohama harbor...

A beautiful example of inappropriate PHRASING!

 A grocery...? Store?

A GIANT OBVIOUS PUN that apparently only I noticed...

 

 Hello Mr. Giraffe, I didn't see you there...

 Vegetarians, avert your delicate eyes, these were delicious...

This was also delicious, but haunted my nightmares...

 

 Ha! Gay...

And a quintessential photograph of just how little English is actually understood in Japan...

And with that, I say goodnight!

P.s. I'm sorry that I suck at updating.